Ah, the awkward dance between mama and mother-of-the-babydaddy. In some cases, your relationship goes swimmingly. She respects your use of the “cry-it-out” Ferber method and never takes your wailing babe out of the crib. And when she comes into town, you don’t have to change a diaper or give your kids a single bath.

It happens. But in most cases, there will be a gap between your approaches to child-rearing. You say “organic,” she says Velveeta. You want to love each other…but it’s hard. There’s a dynamic that gets created when her number-one guy is also, well, YOURS.

But whether she lives across the street or halfway around the globe, you’re part of each other’s lives for good now. She’s grandma. And it’s in your best interest to get along. Here’s how.